Recently I have been watching the election coverage with more than my usual scrutiny. I have always read voting guides, the analysis of ballot measures pro and con, as well as looking at the things people running for office are saying. I have almost never voted American Independent, though in 1980 after Ted Kennedy's faux pas I was left with Jerry Brown and Carter, both of whom I thought were idiots; I voted for Anderson. In 1984 I anted John Glenn; when left with Mondale I actually thought about voting for Angela Davis, just to say I had done so; I voted for Mondale to oppose Reagan, rather than because I actually wanted him. Or the Democrats for that matter.
So here we are today; the Republican party is showing it's usual collection of verbose and divisive candidates. Almost all of whom I consider to be either complete morons like Rick Perry and Michelle Bachman, dishonest power grabbers like Romney, even more dishonest and erratic Newt Gingrich... and lets face it people; America would have to hide blushing behind our flag for four years if we chose a president named "Newt". I liked Jon Huntsman. In two interviews he was intelligent, rational, and seemed concerned over the economy. Obviously they were not going to allow him to run.
I am not oppose to Obama. I voted for him, and not just because he was not republican, or because he was black. He spoke well, I believed his stated intentions, and in spite of all the detractors, he has done a superb job. He has managed in the face of constant opposition from the republicans, combined with the now-typical laziness and lack of confrontation of the democrats, to turn around in two years what the Cheney/Rumsfeld/Bush trinity screwed up over 8 years.
Don't kid yourselves my republican friends; Cheney and Rumsfled were the power brokers there. Bush was the sock-puppet front man. Cheney and Rumsfeld got two wears going, killed thousands of our men and women, ignored hurricane Katrina until it devestated Luisiana, and then blamed FEMA, after that very administration had hamstrung them years before. They waved a paper tiger around so vehemently after 9/11 that frightened people allowed them to quash civil liberties, freedom of expression, legal and civil rights... all by waving the boogie man of invasion by Iraq or Afghanistan. Learn geography! Afghanistan is landlocked; Iraq's navy doesn't have enough men to invade the Superbowl. Plus the fatc that they are barely a presence on the Persian Gulf, and would have to violate a lot of other countries territory to sail over here. Neither is going to invade the US by plane; unless you think the former administration was actually so stupid they would miss 500 charter flights coming out of the Middle East.
No, you folks ran like Chicken Little. I'm not talking about just Republicans here, or the religious Right, or Liberal Democrats. Every single person who didn't scream at their Congressman or Senator. No one is going to invade the US physically. We have nearly 3 MILLION troops, counting active and reserve. The entire estimated military of Afghanistan would only outnumber the average fan attendance for the Cincinnati Bengals by 3 to 1; in game theory, you need anywhere from 6 to 1 odds to 8 to 1 odds to succeed. That means that the entire Iraqi army at it's height would barely be able to overrun the fans at this years Superbowl (578,259 Iraqi soldiers to 68,000 fans). You can do the exact math if you wish. Its about 8:1 odds.
Here is another fact; there are enough (registered) guns owned in the United States to arm 88 percent of the population. That include toddlers, by the way; so basically, everyone between lets say 14 and 60 could carry two weapons.... the second highest in the world is Serbia, at 56 percent. Not much invasion threat from them either. And if Mexico and Canada were to team up, they would not even match Serbia. So invading the Unites States is absurd. The enxt time you hear someone say that "We did this to protect the United States from invasion" laugh at them and call them a moron. Slap them for lying.
We did, however, allow Osama Bin Laden to win. More accurately, the Cheney Trinity did. How you ask? Simple. The object of terrorism is to inflict panic; it's not to take and hold territory, or sieze valuable resources, or any other military objective. It's to make people run around screaming "The Sky is Falling!", to behave in a way that destabilizes them. Homeland Security, the Transportation Safety Bureau, "The Patriot Act" and Rendering did that. Exactly the way Bin Laden wanted. We proved that were exactly the type of detested bully the world should hate. A Cowardly Lion of epic proportions.
Let me bug all of you with a few more tidbits;
War in Afghanistan: 2001. President: Bush (not Obama) Senate and House: Republican SOURCE: any news article
War in Iraq: 2003. President: Bush (not Obama). Senate and House: Republican.
Sub-prime Loan: 2004. President: Bush (not Obama) Senate and House: Republican.
(side note; the percent of subprime loans in 1999 was 8% on average. By 2004 it rocketed up to 20%. SOURCE: Wall Street Journal)
Bank Failures: 57 in 2007 and 2008. During the first year of Obama's term, under the budget passed by the previous Congress, 122 more banks failed. Since 2007 a total of over 400 small banks have failed, all brought down by the collapse above them. SOURCE: FDIC
For this, both parties are to blame; the Democrats did not take over majority in the Senate until 2009, and are still the majority party, Their failure to unify, or to overwhelm opposition, as well as both parties failure to compromise has paralyzed and crippled our economy. (Party Majority SOURCE: Clerk Of the United States Office)
The President DOES NOT have dictatorial powers. To everyone I saw applauding Gingrich in his New Hampshire caucus; you are sheep, or idiots. You applauded when he said that "A leader needs to be strong; to take action, even if the people are opposed to it..." that stunned me. Isn't this the same guy screaming because Obama appointed someone to an office (which he has the right to do, by the way). Isn't that saying "I don't care what you want or what you think; we do things my way". That is dictatorship.
And through all of this, where has the Tea Party been? Where were they in 2001? In 2004? In 2007? Why is it only after a black Democrat takes office that this "Tea Party" bobs to the top of the septic tank of intolerance, screaming for impeachment, and radical change... oh, wait, I answered my own question already. Intolerance. Bias. Hatred. Denial. Hypocrisy. Fraud. The earmarks of the prior administration blended with the fanatical self-righteousness of religious zealotry. Exactly the same rhetoric and attitude used by the Taliban and the Ayatollahs.
Wait. I was wrong. We did in fact get invaded. There they are, the people who want to turn us into a modern day Theocracy, where your every thought and action is under scrutiny, where dissent is punished with violence, and freedom is what they tell you it is. Nice job Mr Bush; you played your part beautifully. Machiavelli salutes you Mr. Cheney. Welcome, Great Lord Gingrich.
Cthulhu Fataghn!
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Analyze this....
So somewhere out there are people who still claim to be able to analyze dreams. I have read two books on the subject... OK, that's a half truth. I read parts of two books on the subject. I quit both times, because they were utter crap, at least where I was concerned. Not one of them had any mention or section on turning into a werewolf..... ort a 30 foot tall winged demon. Neither discussed the deep meaning of having lunch in a railcar-turned-diner filled with ghosts. At no point did they discuss being Angelina Jolie in a fantasy film about Luck Dragons and Chimera..... these are not excerpts from nightmares, by the way. These are just snippets of these unusual epic dreams I have. I get nightmares also, but they tend to run along the same lines. Two hour epics that might actually make great films, if they had more damn continuity.
This morning however I woke up from what has to rank among one of my oddest. Not because I was changing gender, or species, but because it actually had a structure.... if I had eaten some magic mushrooms and wandered around Wonderland, maybe....
It began with me meeting my friend Kimi at a huge mall, like Stanford Shopping Center. We were going to have drinks and lunch at this new trendy bar and grill. Sitting at the bar, I was fascinated by the behavior of the two waitresses. One of them seemed to be flashing customers randomly, both men and women; the other, a small blonde woman, was making the simple act of picking up empty drinks a twenty second seduction. I pointed this out to Kimi quietly, to have her watch as the blonde girl picked up an unwanted beer from my friend Elayne, who was suddenly there as well. As the waitress reached for the beer, she slowly slipped two fingers inside the glass, then made a little gasp as if surprised. Looking right at Elayne, she then put both fingers in her mouth to lick the beer off.
She took the glass and twirled away, walking back in my direction, smiling at me and winking. As she passed behind me she looked over her shoulder; then she poured the rest of the glass (quite a lot, actually) over my head. I sat there in my favorite suit, a tailored black silk one (yes, I own suits. Yes, one of them is tailored black silk from Japan.) Several people were making comments and waiting to see what I would do. For a moment I made jokes about beer being good for hair, and how nice it was to smell like yeast; then I got up and confronted the blonde girl. To my annoyance she not only had no reason for dousing me, but was angry at me for being upset by being wet and reeking of beer. When I demanded to speak to the owner or the manager she actually called me a stuffy fuck.
I moved to the back of the place, which looked more like a corporate lobby. The secretary seated there rushed about (secretary??), brought me a business card for the owner, and brought over an assistant Customer Support person... in a BAR? Meanwhile the crazy waitress was continuing to yell at me. Kimi was watching in shock, and Elayne looked more and more concerned as I visibly lost my slightly amused detachment at the incident and got angrier and angrier. What began as "I want my suit cleaned and an apology" was now "I want my suit cleaned, an apology, my hair washed and combed, a free meal, and you fired" because the waitress wouldn't shut up. I finally had enough, and as I left the waitress got right in my face. I looked at her and said "What exactly do you think you are doing?" She punched me in the mouth three times. Fairly hard. Hard enough, in fact, to knock out a tooth or two and chip some more.
Everyone froze in place as I picked out the bits of teeth and looked at them. With a now rather lop-sided grin I said "Thanks. I think you pretty much just gave me half ownership of the place on a platter." The Customer Service girl and the secretary grabbed the soon to be fired waitress and tossed her on the ground, as Kimi and I walked out. Elayne was either still inside, or had left already.
Kimi was walking out to my car with me, asking if I was OK and apologizing for choosing the place, as I put my bits of teeth in a pocket and poked about at the now vacant areas of my gums. It ached, and I had a fat lip, but nowhere near the amount of pain one might associate with broken teeth... and I was back to amused.
That is until we got to the far side of the parking structure. I was parked on the third tier, near an edge, and for some reason a helicopter had landed half way on the railing, getting the landing struts caught in the side rail and pulling it free. Below on the ground (about fifty feet) was some weird sort of flatbed/crane combo, hooked to the helicopter. Just sitting there, no one operating it, like the driver had said "Oops, lunch break. Back in 30 minutes!" and walked off. Sigh. Union Journeymen....
Naturally I had to take a closer look and see if this was being done correctly. Kimi was fascinated, and announced "I've never gotten to be in a helicopter before!" She scrambled over the broken concrete and the rail, and hopped inside the pilot area of the helicopter. Umm, yeah. Right. OK then.... "Kimi! What the hell are you doing?" She laughed and said "Oh ni-san, you always do things like this.." then yelled as the whole thing slid off and tilted forward, almost dumping her to the ground still some forty feet below her.
A crowd assembled instantly to "ooh" and "ahh" as I looked around for a way to get her out. As I leaned over the railing two men walked up to the... tow truck? ... whatever.... then began to rock it violently. One of them was Dr. Martin Luther King. No one seems at all surprised to see him there. I raced down some magically convenient stairs, just in time to see that the rocking has caused the helicopter to tip slowly forward and down, and dropped Kimi a much safer six to eight feet. Into a shrubbery arrangement that surrounds a small cemetery for victims of AIDS. I helped Kimi up as she brushed off her clothes, and Dr. King nodded solemnly to me and walked off.
We left in separate cars, but went to my house (my actual one) in order to clean up. Kimi seemed to be very flustered, while I am only damp and slightly embarrassed over the condition of the house. It's not dirty, but it was absurdly cluttered in the back. This was because I was not only sleeping in one room (my real bedroom) next to my home office (also real), I was using them for temporary storage to help some friends.
More specifically, the costume departments for TheatreWorks and Wilcox Stage Company. The office was filled around three walls with an assortment of small boxes, all over-packed with shoes, shirts, dresses, belts... my room was a bit less cluttered, but I had been in the process of emptying and sorting two boxes, the contents of which are lying on my bed, my armchair, the TV.... and around the walls are numerous hats hanging alongside my own. Teanca's witch hat from "Maskerade" hangs alongside my RenFaire hat; Emily's was hanging on the peg with my Mardi Gras hat. On a number of new pegs (hey, where did my dresser go???) are hats from "Suessical the Musical" including a big Cat in the Hat hat.
I was trying to do two things at once. Get my wet suit off, and straighten my room. Neither was really going very well. In the midst of adding a third task, putting dry clothes on, there was a knock at the door followed by someone opening it into me. Two women were there, bowing and apologizing and trying to come in, to give me my compensation for the earlier soaking and punches. In my haste I pulled on a rather bizarre smoking jacket instead of my robe, and the damn thing wouldn't close in front. I eventually gave up on holding the door while trying to dress and clean, and the women came all the way in, trailed by my brother and Kimi.
They seemed fascinated by all the clutter, and kept trying to pick things up and look at them as I explained why I had them. They are like small monkeys or little kids; as soon as I got one thing away, they picked up another. I was not really annoyed, just... puzzled and frustrated. Then I heard a whole lot of barking and yowling from the front of the house. These two women had also brought in their dogs, all of whom seemed to know me and love me. The problem was that there are about five of them, all fairly large... and our cat was freaking out, even though the dogs were paying her no attention.
The dogs were now fawning all over me, and I was petting them and trying to calm them all down. I'd given up on the robe completely, and only had on a t-shirt, underwear... and socks. Socks? I took time to put socks on? The cat was now outside, and seeing me petting other things had infuriated her. She was howling and scratching the sliding glass door, when a large squirrel ran up next to her. It was carrying a tiny rectangle of paper on which someone (probably not the squirrel, but who knows?) had written "Help Me!" The squirrel waved the paper frantically, rather like it was taped to its paw, then struck a weird pointing pose while standing on its back legs. The cat yowled at the squirrel, the squirrel darted away, and Kimi and my brother started shooing the dogs out.
This gave the two nutty ladies a chance to make a formal presentation to me of the settlement being offered; a $300,000.00 check... and a gift certificate for a free dinner and drinks for two. I didn't really have time to mull over the absurdity of this, as I had a cat to deal with. She was now hiding in the garden and I had to partially dig her out from under my Artichokes. Kimi had now vanished, because the women discovered she is wearing a garter belt with no underwear, and kept pulling her skirt up to try and get a look and some pictures. Apparently this might have made them revoke the gift certificate, as Kimi's racy lingerie was possibly what sparked the beer dunking. What?
My brother was now fully engaged with shoving them and the dogs out the front door, where a news team had gathered to interview us all. I managed to recover the bathrobe, primarily to protect myself from the still angry and struggling cat I was now carrying. I stood in the front door and watched as my brother chased off dogs, women, news teams and the squirrel by swinging our marble topped coffee table at them like a giant swatter.
I woke up from that at six thirty this morning. After a few moments of sitting there in baffled thought, I got up. No way was I going to try going back to sleep. I might have found myself actually using the gift certificate.
Meaning? to that dream? I don't think so. Oh, sure, you can say it's an expression of stress and frustration, or uncertainty... but you might also just as well say that dreaming about a rooster means I am dreaming about success. It could also mean I am worried about being dinner, don't you think? Analyze THAT Sigmund...
This morning however I woke up from what has to rank among one of my oddest. Not because I was changing gender, or species, but because it actually had a structure.... if I had eaten some magic mushrooms and wandered around Wonderland, maybe....
It began with me meeting my friend Kimi at a huge mall, like Stanford Shopping Center. We were going to have drinks and lunch at this new trendy bar and grill. Sitting at the bar, I was fascinated by the behavior of the two waitresses. One of them seemed to be flashing customers randomly, both men and women; the other, a small blonde woman, was making the simple act of picking up empty drinks a twenty second seduction. I pointed this out to Kimi quietly, to have her watch as the blonde girl picked up an unwanted beer from my friend Elayne, who was suddenly there as well. As the waitress reached for the beer, she slowly slipped two fingers inside the glass, then made a little gasp as if surprised. Looking right at Elayne, she then put both fingers in her mouth to lick the beer off.
She took the glass and twirled away, walking back in my direction, smiling at me and winking. As she passed behind me she looked over her shoulder; then she poured the rest of the glass (quite a lot, actually) over my head. I sat there in my favorite suit, a tailored black silk one (yes, I own suits. Yes, one of them is tailored black silk from Japan.) Several people were making comments and waiting to see what I would do. For a moment I made jokes about beer being good for hair, and how nice it was to smell like yeast; then I got up and confronted the blonde girl. To my annoyance she not only had no reason for dousing me, but was angry at me for being upset by being wet and reeking of beer. When I demanded to speak to the owner or the manager she actually called me a stuffy fuck.
I moved to the back of the place, which looked more like a corporate lobby. The secretary seated there rushed about (secretary??), brought me a business card for the owner, and brought over an assistant Customer Support person... in a BAR? Meanwhile the crazy waitress was continuing to yell at me. Kimi was watching in shock, and Elayne looked more and more concerned as I visibly lost my slightly amused detachment at the incident and got angrier and angrier. What began as "I want my suit cleaned and an apology" was now "I want my suit cleaned, an apology, my hair washed and combed, a free meal, and you fired" because the waitress wouldn't shut up. I finally had enough, and as I left the waitress got right in my face. I looked at her and said "What exactly do you think you are doing?" She punched me in the mouth three times. Fairly hard. Hard enough, in fact, to knock out a tooth or two and chip some more.
Everyone froze in place as I picked out the bits of teeth and looked at them. With a now rather lop-sided grin I said "Thanks. I think you pretty much just gave me half ownership of the place on a platter." The Customer Service girl and the secretary grabbed the soon to be fired waitress and tossed her on the ground, as Kimi and I walked out. Elayne was either still inside, or had left already.
Kimi was walking out to my car with me, asking if I was OK and apologizing for choosing the place, as I put my bits of teeth in a pocket and poked about at the now vacant areas of my gums. It ached, and I had a fat lip, but nowhere near the amount of pain one might associate with broken teeth... and I was back to amused.
That is until we got to the far side of the parking structure. I was parked on the third tier, near an edge, and for some reason a helicopter had landed half way on the railing, getting the landing struts caught in the side rail and pulling it free. Below on the ground (about fifty feet) was some weird sort of flatbed/crane combo, hooked to the helicopter. Just sitting there, no one operating it, like the driver had said "Oops, lunch break. Back in 30 minutes!" and walked off. Sigh. Union Journeymen....
Naturally I had to take a closer look and see if this was being done correctly. Kimi was fascinated, and announced "I've never gotten to be in a helicopter before!" She scrambled over the broken concrete and the rail, and hopped inside the pilot area of the helicopter. Umm, yeah. Right. OK then.... "Kimi! What the hell are you doing?" She laughed and said "Oh ni-san, you always do things like this.." then yelled as the whole thing slid off and tilted forward, almost dumping her to the ground still some forty feet below her.
A crowd assembled instantly to "ooh" and "ahh" as I looked around for a way to get her out. As I leaned over the railing two men walked up to the... tow truck? ... whatever.... then began to rock it violently. One of them was Dr. Martin Luther King. No one seems at all surprised to see him there. I raced down some magically convenient stairs, just in time to see that the rocking has caused the helicopter to tip slowly forward and down, and dropped Kimi a much safer six to eight feet. Into a shrubbery arrangement that surrounds a small cemetery for victims of AIDS. I helped Kimi up as she brushed off her clothes, and Dr. King nodded solemnly to me and walked off.
We left in separate cars, but went to my house (my actual one) in order to clean up. Kimi seemed to be very flustered, while I am only damp and slightly embarrassed over the condition of the house. It's not dirty, but it was absurdly cluttered in the back. This was because I was not only sleeping in one room (my real bedroom) next to my home office (also real), I was using them for temporary storage to help some friends.
More specifically, the costume departments for TheatreWorks and Wilcox Stage Company. The office was filled around three walls with an assortment of small boxes, all over-packed with shoes, shirts, dresses, belts... my room was a bit less cluttered, but I had been in the process of emptying and sorting two boxes, the contents of which are lying on my bed, my armchair, the TV.... and around the walls are numerous hats hanging alongside my own. Teanca's witch hat from "Maskerade" hangs alongside my RenFaire hat; Emily's was hanging on the peg with my Mardi Gras hat. On a number of new pegs (hey, where did my dresser go???) are hats from "Suessical the Musical" including a big Cat in the Hat hat.
I was trying to do two things at once. Get my wet suit off, and straighten my room. Neither was really going very well. In the midst of adding a third task, putting dry clothes on, there was a knock at the door followed by someone opening it into me. Two women were there, bowing and apologizing and trying to come in, to give me my compensation for the earlier soaking and punches. In my haste I pulled on a rather bizarre smoking jacket instead of my robe, and the damn thing wouldn't close in front. I eventually gave up on holding the door while trying to dress and clean, and the women came all the way in, trailed by my brother and Kimi.
They seemed fascinated by all the clutter, and kept trying to pick things up and look at them as I explained why I had them. They are like small monkeys or little kids; as soon as I got one thing away, they picked up another. I was not really annoyed, just... puzzled and frustrated. Then I heard a whole lot of barking and yowling from the front of the house. These two women had also brought in their dogs, all of whom seemed to know me and love me. The problem was that there are about five of them, all fairly large... and our cat was freaking out, even though the dogs were paying her no attention.
The dogs were now fawning all over me, and I was petting them and trying to calm them all down. I'd given up on the robe completely, and only had on a t-shirt, underwear... and socks. Socks? I took time to put socks on? The cat was now outside, and seeing me petting other things had infuriated her. She was howling and scratching the sliding glass door, when a large squirrel ran up next to her. It was carrying a tiny rectangle of paper on which someone (probably not the squirrel, but who knows?) had written "Help Me!" The squirrel waved the paper frantically, rather like it was taped to its paw, then struck a weird pointing pose while standing on its back legs. The cat yowled at the squirrel, the squirrel darted away, and Kimi and my brother started shooing the dogs out.
This gave the two nutty ladies a chance to make a formal presentation to me of the settlement being offered; a $300,000.00 check... and a gift certificate for a free dinner and drinks for two. I didn't really have time to mull over the absurdity of this, as I had a cat to deal with. She was now hiding in the garden and I had to partially dig her out from under my Artichokes. Kimi had now vanished, because the women discovered she is wearing a garter belt with no underwear, and kept pulling her skirt up to try and get a look and some pictures. Apparently this might have made them revoke the gift certificate, as Kimi's racy lingerie was possibly what sparked the beer dunking. What?
My brother was now fully engaged with shoving them and the dogs out the front door, where a news team had gathered to interview us all. I managed to recover the bathrobe, primarily to protect myself from the still angry and struggling cat I was now carrying. I stood in the front door and watched as my brother chased off dogs, women, news teams and the squirrel by swinging our marble topped coffee table at them like a giant swatter.
I woke up from that at six thirty this morning. After a few moments of sitting there in baffled thought, I got up. No way was I going to try going back to sleep. I might have found myself actually using the gift certificate.
Meaning? to that dream? I don't think so. Oh, sure, you can say it's an expression of stress and frustration, or uncertainty... but you might also just as well say that dreaming about a rooster means I am dreaming about success. It could also mean I am worried about being dinner, don't you think? Analyze THAT Sigmund...
Saturday, December 17, 2011
The Case of the Partial Review
Right. After reading some comments on Facebook (some from people who are not actually followers of my blog... yet... ahem... (grin)...) I realized that there was an omission to my review on "A Game of Shadows"; i.e., how does it stack up to the original stories? What about the Basil Rathbone series, Jeremy Brett's epic portrayls, or the modern "Sherlock"? How about all the great odds and ends, like "Without a Clue", or "The Seven Percent Solution", the wonderfully funny "Sherlock Holmes Smarter Brother"? There is even a BBC series where Arthur Conan Doyle "reveals" the inspiration for the Holmes stories, called "Dr. Bell and Mr, Doyle. If you are a fan of Holmes, check this series out by all means..... anyway, I started to write this as a postscipt to the review, when I realized that this really need a whole new blog. Especially after I spent 20 minutes on writing it. ^..^
Sherlock Holmes may well be the most adapted character in literature. There are literally hundreds of films, dozens of TV and radio series, spinoff stories by people like Stephen King and Laurie King (no relation)Neil Gaiman, and the character was even given a Royal Society "Honorary Fellowship" about ten years ago. He has gone up against Dracula, been placed in modern times and the future, been on the Animaniacs... and yes, I have read or watched damn near everything Holmesian (is that a word? it is now). My grandmother was a huge fan, and got me started on her first collection when I was nine or so. My brother grabbed the books when she moved on. I'll have to kill him to get them I suspect. Ooops... ignore that.
So, as far as the two films by Guy Ritchie go, they are far from spot-on to the original ACD stories. They were never intended to be so however; like so many of these other works, they are an homage to "the greatest detective ever writen". I thoroughly enjoyed George C. Scott as the mentally unbalanced patient being treated by "Dr. Watson". Watching Nicol Williamson as the cocaine addicted Holmes in "The Seven Percent Solution" did not offend me in any way... though Williamson himself did, after he injured another actor on Broadway during a stage fight, because Nicol was too arrogant to show up for practice. Oaf. He was so awesome as Little John in "Robion and Marian".... oh well. I laughed during damn near every minute of Gene Wilder and Marty Feldman's portrayals, as well as the one by Michale Caine and Ben Kingsley.
I love to see all the little influences in film, television, novels of sci-fi, fantasy, steanpunk. Hell, he is even part of the inspiration behind Dr. Who (yechhh), and so many other detective characters. Batman's crime deduction methods are obviously takne from Holmes, and Johnny Depp gives him a nod in "Sleepy Hollow". You see tribute paid in Tom and Jerry cartoons, Mickey Mouse, you even see Daffy Duck wearing the famous deerstalker hat.
These two movies are action/adventure/comedies, and aren't intended to re-define or re-spin Holmes and Watson, any more than the anime dog Sherlock Holmes was. They should be looked at, not with a severely jaundiced eye, but with the affection for anything that introduces the works of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle to a new generation of fans. If even one person in two hundred picks up a Kindle and downloads "The Hound of the Baskervilles" (which scared the hell out of me as a kid) or "The Sign of the Four" then I think the movies did a superb service.
And maybe, just maybe, one of the people reading those stories will start thinking a little more clearly; begin looking more carefully and closely at the world around them; and run for President.
I can dream, can't I?
Friday, December 16, 2011
The Girl With the Sherlock Tattoo
I just saw "Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows" and can safely say it's as fun
as the first one.
Hopefully, I can write a review without spoilers.. but be warned anyway.
Guy Ritchie directed this second film, so from the standpoint of visuals it has the same look as the first. Gritty London streets, fantastic and varied costuming, and a roller-coaster pacing throughout the film. Hans Zimmer returned to score the film, Jenny Beavan was once more in charge of the spectacular period costumes, and Richard Ryan as the Fight Director served up another round of the intriguing (albeit Matrixy) slo-mo "pre-vis" Holmes fights. Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law worked seamlessly once more as Holmes and Watson, and with Kelly Reilly and Rachel McAdams back as the lovely Mary Watson (nee Morstan) and the slinky "whose side am I on now" Irene Adler, there are two lovely faces to watch. Added to the already great cast are Stephen Fry as Mycroft Holmes; you might recognize him from "V: For Vendetta", and the much prettier Noomi Rapace, the original and hardcore "Girl With the Dragon Tattoo" actress. Tom O'Connell, one of the tribe of O'Connell's spawned by Skywalker Sound handled Foley this time around, so the explosions are big without being ear-piercing, and the little nuances are all there to fill the appropriate momments.
Holmes is up against Moriarty (who else???) and the game is afoot from frame 4. Plot twists are relatively few, and there are several important clues and foreshadowings dropped.. and I missed one of them. There are plenty of funny scenes in the film, including a badly cross-dressed Holmes, and wait for Stephen Fry's big moment. There is also a sly little nod to "Two Mules For Sister Sara", which I just happened to see again a few weeks ago. They use the title theme from that movie at one point, and when you see this, you will know why and get an extra laugh. The confrontations between Moriarty and Holmes are the slowest sections of the film; but since they are filled with innuendo, snide repartee, and that lovely Victorian England uber-polite "I hate you, and plan to fill your intestines with burning coals. Tea?" dialogue, you don't get bored by the change of tempo. If "My Dinner With Andre" had that sort of dialogue and tension, I would own it.
All in all, well worth my time and money; and the audience applauded heartily at the end; always a good sign.
Did I mention that Noomi is hot?
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
The Waking Dead
I was probably ill-advised to watch three episodes of "The Walking Dead" after getting home from a load out last night. I had missed parts of episodes three and four, and had not yet seen number five. Since we finished at 11PM, I thought "Some wine, crackers, and cheese, and zombies. How could it get any better?"
Idjit. So there I am at shortly after midnight, watching again as Shane shoots Otis. As I told my friend Jacob, there was a logic there I could follow. The only thing Shane really cares about is Lori and Carl, and (sort of) Rick; everyone else is disposable. Doesn't alter the fact that Shane is a dick...
Anyway, the story sort of carried over into Dreamland. There I am, in some non-survivors pre-Zombiepocalypse fortified home; apparently Bill Gates isn't the only one. Trust me to find a home built of Oak panels over solid concrete with 1 1/2 inch thick bulletproof plexiglass windows, and slick ceramic tiling on the roof in a dream about zombies. Needless to say, with this nice secure base I need roomies; I picked two women (who looked like no one I know, thanks for asking), an old guy, my brother, three unidentified friends... and every cat the Crandall clan has ever owned. All of them about one year old. Somehow I had also "friended" a young tigress and her two cubs. They lived in the enclosed sunroom of course.
Apparently my foray into the closest military camp area, trying to get them to come help by drawing a zombie horde towards them was not enough adventure. I went back to my little castle, and set off the "Zombie Whistle" to draw some in so I could shoot them. Nice guy. There I am, zombies pounding pointlessly on the glass and high walls, when I wake up. To the sound of dull pounding outside my room. Oh-oh.... turns out my neighbor is having some work done on his house. Still, I woke up thinking "I'm not prepared! I need a crossbow still!"
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Bye Bye Birdie rehearsal stunts.
I just saw several friends perform in a Starting Arts production of "Bye Bye Birdie", and promised I would share... AFTER their show closed.... stunts that we pulled during one summer production.
“Bye Bye Birdie” was one of the shows we did at the Drama/Music Workshop, a summer school program held at Sequoia High School in Redwood City. Our theatre is slightly larger than the Wilcox stage, and had a balcony seating 120 (since removed). All the theatre and music departments in the district participated, and the Director, Choreographer, Orchestra/Music and Tech Director jobs rotated among the faculty. We had five weeks to put the shows up, and ran for 3 weeks, with a Thursday night and Sunday matinee; 12 performances total. We had brushups on Tuesday afternoon, and during the run of “Birdie” our TD called us all together (I was deck crew chief and ASM). We planned a whole series of jokes for the brushup. In (sort of) order we:
Swapped Albert’s aspirin. I carved two Alka Seltzer tablets down to make several small round “aspirin” and carved a “B” on them. When Albert tossed them in his mouth… water made it even funnier.
During “How Lovely to be a Woman” I sabotaged Kim; we had a complete bedroom set for her, attached to the McAfee house, about 8 feet high and 12’x8’. A stub bed, dresser, vanity, and a fake closet with sliding doors. On Kim’s dresser we had a Raggedy Anne doll, and I wired it as a puppet. From the grid I made it stand up and dance behind her. She couldn’t see it at first, and the orchestra and directors were trying not to laugh. Everytime she would start to turn I would sit it down again. She turned around towards the end and saw it standing up with its arms in the air. I made it jump on her, and cut the strings.
When Birdie arrived for the Key ceremony, we had substituted a copy made of PVC pipe, painted gold (same size as the wooden dowel version). When Birdie went to take the Key, it came apart and a flag popped out that said “BOOM”.
The McAfee house was made up of 4’x8’ wagons, and we had built out a full kitchen area on one section, with an oven and stove near the end, a counter with a sink making an L, and an actual refrigerator. A stair and landing led up (like yours did) to Kim’s bedroom, the parents bedroom, and a bathroom (apparently Randolph sleeps in the bathtub…). We made fake “Budweiser” labels and put them on 7-Up for the breakfast beer bit; at the brushup we subbed a can of real beer. We also had a fake head and a stuffed dog toy in there later.
We had fake eggs, bacon etc. glued to Mr. McAfee’s plates for the breakfast shtick, and Kim would bring back a similar plate with a stack of pancakes, eggs, bacon, etc glued on. We swapped in a plate with a stack of (real) glued together donuts, fake dog poop, and a small rubber chicken for Kim to carry to Conrad.
Our Randolph (Don Stitt) pulled his own little sabotage and brought a Playboy out of the bathroom, with the “articles about Conrad” cut out.
At the start of Act Two, Rosie is tossing stuff in her suitcase; we had a bunch of folded clothes (stuff from Goodwill discards) sewn into flat “packed” piles inside and attached to the bottom half divider, so Rosie could just toss stuff in on top. We always had a small amount of 2”x4” in under the fake clothes, to add a bit of weight. At the brushup we added a 5 pound pig weight from the fly rails at each scene change when Rosie was not looking. By the time she was trying to run from Albert it was around 15 pounds; after the final confrontation with Mae, it was 20 or so. She had to drag it off.
When Mae threatens to kill herself, we had her actually walk to the McAfee kitchen and stick her head in the oven. We cut out a side panel from the “counter” and removed the side of the oven. One of the crew hid inside the entire time, and when Mae stuck her head into the oven, he was looking out at her.
During the Shriner’s scene (which you guys cut… why?) the Mayor et al are wearing Fez’s. They were supposed to do a little flourish with the hats during part of the dance, swinging them around by the tassels. Our costumer had joined in on the fun; she undid the tassels and reattached them with thin elastic; when they tried to twirl them they extended about a foot. Rosie also joined in the fun, and added a breakaway skirt; when the Shriner’s were supposed to start tugging at her skirt it came off, and she was wearing Winnie the Pooh boxers underneath.
During the Ice House scene, we had several large blocks of clear plastic chipped to look like blocks of ice on the set. We subbed in real blocks of ice. About 8 if I recall. It was COLD on the platform Kim and Conrad sit on. We put a cigarette load in Conrad’s cigarette (yes, we could actually smoke on stage…). The girls in the chorus were in on it as well. When they tackled Conrad, they actually started to take off his jacket, shirt, shoes….. it was a VERY disheveled Conrad who thanked them for arresting him. Except that I had rigged the cuffs with a spring, and defeated the latch, so every time they closed them they sprang open again and fell off.
By the time Rosie brought her suitcase on in the final scene, it weighed 25 pounds or so. We had always had some 5 pound weights in the other bags on the cart; and several of them were actually screwed down as well, as they never moved off the cart (or we had duplicates) so that when Albert is wheeling Rosie about, she had a stable seat; her suitcase would fit in between. We had planned to add about 30 pounds of pigs, but in the frenzy we added more; turned out that with Rosie’s suitcase added, we had almost 100 pounds. Albert could barely move the thing around. Albert was supposed to pull the tickets to Iowa out of his briefcase. We added eight “snakes” the little coiled spring things…. and four superballs.
We had some fairly annoyed actors by the end, and the directors called us out on stage to chew us out…. but oddly, they never stopped the rehearsal, and even the orchestra was laughing….. the chewing out was essentially “OK, that was highly amateur, and very disruptive, and funny….. ahem, and we trust you got it all out of your systems. So we don’t have to worry about that on closing night, right?”
“Bye Bye Birdie” was one of the shows we did at the Drama/Music Workshop, a summer school program held at Sequoia High School in Redwood City. Our theatre is slightly larger than the Wilcox stage, and had a balcony seating 120 (since removed). All the theatre and music departments in the district participated, and the Director, Choreographer, Orchestra/Music and Tech Director jobs rotated among the faculty. We had five weeks to put the shows up, and ran for 3 weeks, with a Thursday night and Sunday matinee; 12 performances total. We had brushups on Tuesday afternoon, and during the run of “Birdie” our TD called us all together (I was deck crew chief and ASM). We planned a whole series of jokes for the brushup. In (sort of) order we:
Swapped Albert’s aspirin. I carved two Alka Seltzer tablets down to make several small round “aspirin” and carved a “B” on them. When Albert tossed them in his mouth… water made it even funnier.
During “How Lovely to be a Woman” I sabotaged Kim; we had a complete bedroom set for her, attached to the McAfee house, about 8 feet high and 12’x8’. A stub bed, dresser, vanity, and a fake closet with sliding doors. On Kim’s dresser we had a Raggedy Anne doll, and I wired it as a puppet. From the grid I made it stand up and dance behind her. She couldn’t see it at first, and the orchestra and directors were trying not to laugh. Everytime she would start to turn I would sit it down again. She turned around towards the end and saw it standing up with its arms in the air. I made it jump on her, and cut the strings.
When Birdie arrived for the Key ceremony, we had substituted a copy made of PVC pipe, painted gold (same size as the wooden dowel version). When Birdie went to take the Key, it came apart and a flag popped out that said “BOOM”.
The McAfee house was made up of 4’x8’ wagons, and we had built out a full kitchen area on one section, with an oven and stove near the end, a counter with a sink making an L, and an actual refrigerator. A stair and landing led up (like yours did) to Kim’s bedroom, the parents bedroom, and a bathroom (apparently Randolph sleeps in the bathtub…). We made fake “Budweiser” labels and put them on 7-Up for the breakfast beer bit; at the brushup we subbed a can of real beer. We also had a fake head and a stuffed dog toy in there later.
We had fake eggs, bacon etc. glued to Mr. McAfee’s plates for the breakfast shtick, and Kim would bring back a similar plate with a stack of pancakes, eggs, bacon, etc glued on. We swapped in a plate with a stack of (real) glued together donuts, fake dog poop, and a small rubber chicken for Kim to carry to Conrad.
Our Randolph (Don Stitt) pulled his own little sabotage and brought a Playboy out of the bathroom, with the “articles about Conrad” cut out.
At the start of Act Two, Rosie is tossing stuff in her suitcase; we had a bunch of folded clothes (stuff from Goodwill discards) sewn into flat “packed” piles inside and attached to the bottom half divider, so Rosie could just toss stuff in on top. We always had a small amount of 2”x4” in under the fake clothes, to add a bit of weight. At the brushup we added a 5 pound pig weight from the fly rails at each scene change when Rosie was not looking. By the time she was trying to run from Albert it was around 15 pounds; after the final confrontation with Mae, it was 20 or so. She had to drag it off.
When Mae threatens to kill herself, we had her actually walk to the McAfee kitchen and stick her head in the oven. We cut out a side panel from the “counter” and removed the side of the oven. One of the crew hid inside the entire time, and when Mae stuck her head into the oven, he was looking out at her.
During the Shriner’s scene (which you guys cut… why?) the Mayor et al are wearing Fez’s. They were supposed to do a little flourish with the hats during part of the dance, swinging them around by the tassels. Our costumer had joined in on the fun; she undid the tassels and reattached them with thin elastic; when they tried to twirl them they extended about a foot. Rosie also joined in the fun, and added a breakaway skirt; when the Shriner’s were supposed to start tugging at her skirt it came off, and she was wearing Winnie the Pooh boxers underneath.
During the Ice House scene, we had several large blocks of clear plastic chipped to look like blocks of ice on the set. We subbed in real blocks of ice. About 8 if I recall. It was COLD on the platform Kim and Conrad sit on. We put a cigarette load in Conrad’s cigarette (yes, we could actually smoke on stage…). The girls in the chorus were in on it as well. When they tackled Conrad, they actually started to take off his jacket, shirt, shoes….. it was a VERY disheveled Conrad who thanked them for arresting him. Except that I had rigged the cuffs with a spring, and defeated the latch, so every time they closed them they sprang open again and fell off.
By the time Rosie brought her suitcase on in the final scene, it weighed 25 pounds or so. We had always had some 5 pound weights in the other bags on the cart; and several of them were actually screwed down as well, as they never moved off the cart (or we had duplicates) so that when Albert is wheeling Rosie about, she had a stable seat; her suitcase would fit in between. We had planned to add about 30 pounds of pigs, but in the frenzy we added more; turned out that with Rosie’s suitcase added, we had almost 100 pounds. Albert could barely move the thing around. Albert was supposed to pull the tickets to Iowa out of his briefcase. We added eight “snakes” the little coiled spring things…. and four superballs.
We had some fairly annoyed actors by the end, and the directors called us out on stage to chew us out…. but oddly, they never stopped the rehearsal, and even the orchestra was laughing….. the chewing out was essentially “OK, that was highly amateur, and very disruptive, and funny….. ahem, and we trust you got it all out of your systems. So we don’t have to worry about that on closing night, right?”
Sunday, April 24, 2011
A Song of Writers and Actors
I was planning on waiting a bit longer before I started commenting on HBO’s ambitious endeavor to adapt George R. R. Martin’s “Game of Thrones” to the small screen. Right. Like patience is a virtue I possess in great measure. So after watching only the trailers, the interviews, the behind the scenes stuff, and the first two episodes (Geek? Me? Piss off) here are my initial impressions. They are NOT objective; write your own review.
First off, the things I have trouble with or just plain don’t like. Mark Addy as Robert Baratheon: OK, he’s fat, florid, common…. and all I can say every time he is on screen is “I could have done that better.” Typical actor, me. I can’t do fat as well as he does, but… he is just too one-dimensional. Not as he is written, but as he plays it. He’ll be gone by episode three, so I’ll get over it. Kit Harington as Jon Snow: he’s new to the business; this may well be his first TV or film appearance, ever. Kit, please keep your mouth closed. Too many scenes you look like a fish out of water. Stop pouting. You can be broody without looking Emo. Close your mouth. Michelle Fairley as Catelyn Stark: Sorry, she is not anywhere near as pretty as I felt Catelyn was supposed to be. She can act her way through the walls of Winterfell though. Rats. Wow.
I am still undecided over Emelia Clarke as Daenerys Targaryen: she is pretty enough, and the platinum hair looks right on her, but she is stockier than I pictured Daenerys. She also has had very little to work with as an actress yet, so I’m going to have to wait a bit. Her brother Viserys, played by Harry Loyd looks much more like I pictured them both; almost elven (yeah yeah, I know…..). Wish they could have gotten the violet eyes though. Hell, they did it for “Dune” 25 years ago…. I’m also very annoyed by what appears to be the costumers idea of the Maesters chain; ummm, did anyone read her the books? Michele, these are described as fitting tightly about the neck, like a slave collar. What you have looks like someone tried to find a use for old drawbridge chains. Seriously, at what point does it say “Maester Lewins chain hung down to his testicles”?
Now, for the stuff I like or love so far. Top of the list is Peter Dinklage. He is superb as Tyrion Lannister. He has the mocking, wounded, ribald, cunning, and caring layers all beautifully bound together, and they come out at every point they are needed, each emotion underscored by the depths underneath. Oh, yeah. “I hope I can do stuff that well”. As an actor I stand in admiration. Jamie Lannister and Cersei Lannister, played by Nikolja Coster-Waldau (?) and Lena Headey are excellent; I can’t WAIT to see the later interactions. Sean Bean as Ned Stark should be kissing his agent; this role and he are a perfect fit. Maisie Williams as Arya has had a lot more to do so far than Sansa, played by Sophie Turner, but I see no reason to doubt 5 star work from both.
Visually the show is spectacular. The locations in Ireland and Malta work perfectly, the cinematography presents even more sweeping landscapes than “Lord of The Rings”, and The Wall…. Oh, yeah. Loved it. The main score by Ramin Djawadi is wonderful, and other than the Maesters chains (Michele, WTFO?) the costuming looks excellent.
As for the two episodes themselves, I am trying to avoid spoilers. I have at least one loopy friend who is going to wait for the DVD’s “so I can watch it all at once.” Really? So how come you watch “Fringe” one episode at a time, hmmm? Yeah, you know who you are… . I will say this; episode one takes a rather breakneck pace to cover about 200 pages. Daenerys is married to Khal Drogo before you can finish your first glass of wine. Jon practically walks into frame, looks about, and says “I’m going to take the black.”. Tyrion is whoring before you even meet him… and good luck knowing who is Robb Stark and who is Theon Greyjoy, as no one uses a name during the first hour… of a one hour episode. OK, that was hyperbole, but still.
The second episode included a scene not in the book, between Cersei and Catelyn in Bran’s room; it was inspiring. You feel the first stirring of compassion for Cersei… and then stop and ask “Was that all a lie?” If George wrote that, look for it in the revised printings of the novels. The “touching” farewell between Catelyn and Jon is also different in detail, though not in tone. Good job guys. And when Ned has to fulfill the sentence passed on Lady, in Nymerias absence….. whooo. Arya also gives a look that the camera holds which is apparently meant for Cersei as much as Joffrey. If I got a look like that , I would be checking for poison in my food and assassins in my bed the rest of my life. Its not hatred, it is a cold and uncompromising condemnation.
Winter is coming.
First off, the things I have trouble with or just plain don’t like. Mark Addy as Robert Baratheon: OK, he’s fat, florid, common…. and all I can say every time he is on screen is “I could have done that better.” Typical actor, me. I can’t do fat as well as he does, but… he is just too one-dimensional. Not as he is written, but as he plays it. He’ll be gone by episode three, so I’ll get over it. Kit Harington as Jon Snow: he’s new to the business; this may well be his first TV or film appearance, ever. Kit, please keep your mouth closed. Too many scenes you look like a fish out of water. Stop pouting. You can be broody without looking Emo. Close your mouth. Michelle Fairley as Catelyn Stark: Sorry, she is not anywhere near as pretty as I felt Catelyn was supposed to be. She can act her way through the walls of Winterfell though. Rats. Wow.
I am still undecided over Emelia Clarke as Daenerys Targaryen: she is pretty enough, and the platinum hair looks right on her, but she is stockier than I pictured Daenerys. She also has had very little to work with as an actress yet, so I’m going to have to wait a bit. Her brother Viserys, played by Harry Loyd looks much more like I pictured them both; almost elven (yeah yeah, I know…..). Wish they could have gotten the violet eyes though. Hell, they did it for “Dune” 25 years ago…. I’m also very annoyed by what appears to be the costumers idea of the Maesters chain; ummm, did anyone read her the books? Michele, these are described as fitting tightly about the neck, like a slave collar. What you have looks like someone tried to find a use for old drawbridge chains. Seriously, at what point does it say “Maester Lewins chain hung down to his testicles”?
Now, for the stuff I like or love so far. Top of the list is Peter Dinklage. He is superb as Tyrion Lannister. He has the mocking, wounded, ribald, cunning, and caring layers all beautifully bound together, and they come out at every point they are needed, each emotion underscored by the depths underneath. Oh, yeah. “I hope I can do stuff that well”. As an actor I stand in admiration. Jamie Lannister and Cersei Lannister, played by Nikolja Coster-Waldau (?) and Lena Headey are excellent; I can’t WAIT to see the later interactions. Sean Bean as Ned Stark should be kissing his agent; this role and he are a perfect fit. Maisie Williams as Arya has had a lot more to do so far than Sansa, played by Sophie Turner, but I see no reason to doubt 5 star work from both.
Visually the show is spectacular. The locations in Ireland and Malta work perfectly, the cinematography presents even more sweeping landscapes than “Lord of The Rings”, and The Wall…. Oh, yeah. Loved it. The main score by Ramin Djawadi is wonderful, and other than the Maesters chains (Michele, WTFO?) the costuming looks excellent.
As for the two episodes themselves, I am trying to avoid spoilers. I have at least one loopy friend who is going to wait for the DVD’s “so I can watch it all at once.” Really? So how come you watch “Fringe” one episode at a time, hmmm? Yeah, you know who you are… . I will say this; episode one takes a rather breakneck pace to cover about 200 pages. Daenerys is married to Khal Drogo before you can finish your first glass of wine. Jon practically walks into frame, looks about, and says “I’m going to take the black.”. Tyrion is whoring before you even meet him… and good luck knowing who is Robb Stark and who is Theon Greyjoy, as no one uses a name during the first hour… of a one hour episode. OK, that was hyperbole, but still.
The second episode included a scene not in the book, between Cersei and Catelyn in Bran’s room; it was inspiring. You feel the first stirring of compassion for Cersei… and then stop and ask “Was that all a lie?” If George wrote that, look for it in the revised printings of the novels. The “touching” farewell between Catelyn and Jon is also different in detail, though not in tone. Good job guys. And when Ned has to fulfill the sentence passed on Lady, in Nymerias absence….. whooo. Arya also gives a look that the camera holds which is apparently meant for Cersei as much as Joffrey. If I got a look like that , I would be checking for poison in my food and assassins in my bed the rest of my life. Its not hatred, it is a cold and uncompromising condemnation.
Winter is coming.
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